mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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