i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
