Hey man sorry I got all grabby
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
