Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
