But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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