U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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