The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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