This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
A+ Viking dick
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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