you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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