I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
