note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
