So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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