Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
