I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
