I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
