This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
