I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Randomize
