We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
