We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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