All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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