I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
