I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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