Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
