I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm getting married
To pizza
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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