K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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