STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
