some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Someone shattered a urinal.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize