There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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