Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
