he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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