Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
