I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
