He is such a slut. More and more my type.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
