Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
he fucked my hip out of place.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
