CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Randomize