Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I got inside last night via doggy door
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
