I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
