I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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