Whod you bang
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm at about main and main street
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
