Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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