dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize