Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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