So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
