College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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