I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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