i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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