Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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