Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
