I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
