He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
