Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
