Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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