i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
