youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
