the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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