your room smells of hookers.
And success
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
