Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Randomize