i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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