Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
3 2 1 whiskey
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
