piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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