For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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