so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
don't judge my taste in strippers
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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