Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
