I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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