the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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