She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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