I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
