my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
