If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
this just has baby written all over it
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize