We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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