Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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